You’ve had a long day. Maybe a co-worker got on your nerves or a customer tried to foolishly explain why redheads are going extinct. Whatever the case, the day was long and reaching that moment of relaxation after tucking your children into bed couldn’t come a moment too soon. You curl up with your partner to indulge in some of our culture’s most currently shared past-time– Netflix. However, instead of being greeted with the familiar jingle-jangle of The Office theme, you find yourself introduced to Marie Kondo. What follows is not relaxing, but rather an end to your day that leaves you questioning the very nature of your surroundings and natural habitat. Welcome to Tidying Up.
Marie Kondo and her KonMari method of tidying are taking Netflix and watercooler conversations by storm. If you haven’t discovered this yet and think I’m just talking gibberish words, be patient. She will find you, and much like the creatures from Birdbox, she will force you to see the worst version of yourself. You may not commit violent suicide (I’m too afraid to finish the series to find out) but you will find yourself saying a final goodbye to many of your cherished possessions. So, to combat this virtual home invasion, I present an alternative method. I call it the Bander-Stash method, because just like the Black Mirror movie– you have a choice, and if you’re determined enough you can find a place to stash anything.
The crux of Bander-Stash is not whether or not an item sparks joy, but instead finding the joy in everything. Keep everything. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been looking for a shirt or pair of pants only to find some other preferred article of clothing I wasn’t even looking for. Now, you might think, “Bo, I know what I want to wear, and I need to be able to find it.” But the truth is, you don’t know what you want to wear. No one does. That’s why there are fashion and marketing industries because people don’t know what they want.
I shouldn’t have to tell you that, as a writer, I don’t trust anyone telling you to get rid of books. What kind of Orwellian, 1984, book-burning police-state is this lady selling us? This should be a no-brainer– if you want to continue having a brain worth a damn, that is. Get rid of Netflix before you consider getting rid of your books. End of story. Unless of course, you’ve ended up with any of the Left Behind novels, those don’t belong on anyone’s bookshelves.
So really, it’s as simple as not getting rid of stuff. Just hoard. Fill your closets. Fill your guest room. Fill your living room. Fill your own bedroom. Buy a new house and start over. Stash, stash, stash. Your belongings are indeed precious and in the immortal words of Madonna, “We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.”